Step 3!
Heart in the Porcelain
I begged her to never lie to me. We had one fight recently. She got me mad but like every fight, I thought it would end quick. The next morning came along and all I waited for was the daily “Good Morning” text I get in my phone that she never knew made my day special. The day progresses and we are fighting again. Every fight we get into I always wished would end as quick as possible. But it was this fight in particular that was different, different as in the end. She told me of her past and I began to feel this empty feeling in my chest, throat, and stomach. I couldn’t believe what she had just told me. The vision of my eyes were cloudy and everything was so blurry. It felt like I was on a drug that the Grim Reaper slipped in my Coke glass. I felt as I walked through the streets that my mind was on autopilot. I didn’t feel real, I felt like one with the wind. I enter my room deleting myself from the social networking world, because everyone I came to learn wasn’t real either. Once the deletion was done, I got into my bed. I began to summarize everything she told me, and the worst pain entered my memory. It took over my head and was slowly killing me. I moved from the bed to the restroom. In darkness I laid there and like a polluted waterfall, my eyes exploded with tears. I began to rethink the world I was living in, I began to rethink the future of mine. I began to scream, I couldn’t believe what I turned out to be. The screaming of my heart breaking could no longer bare to be in my body, that my body finally gave up. I began to throw up my heart into pieces into the porcelain. My body could no longer be the victim of my painful memories that it just through out the thing hurting me most. The receiver of all my pain happening within my mind, was my heart and my body could no longer take the pain that it spit out my heart into the porcelain. Once the heart was out of my system, I stood up with all my power to turn on the power of the light. The light was on, and I could see in my eyes. My eyes I had never seen in this condition. My eyes were so blood red that I looked like the red devil I claim to be. I couldn’t believe my eyes were red. It looked as though all the white/light in my eyes were gone. It felt that my pain was so unbearable that I began to cry out blood. With all my power, I get back into bed. I don’t know what to do. I put my hand on my chest, and like my future, I feel my chest empty. No pound, no beat, no heart. Why am I still alive?
